i like me

it's not that i
don't like myself

it's not my self-hate
that makes him hate me

that makes me hate him
it's something older than like

something ancient and cruel

something unforgiving

something from the days of dinosaurs, of large beasts patrolling the landscape

days of fierce heat and horrible cold
days interminably long and physicalities unbelievably large

something desperate

life-seizing that no longer saves us
life-seizing is killing us
or at any rate

will kill this love and the relationship that was built on the hope of the continuation of this love

something old and very very ugly and wrongly brought here to a world of love and light
where glistening dew enchants dark forests

and birds call the sun to rise