as she poured
Samuel another drink, Gina felt that she could sense Alistair
behind her, ghostly, appreciating
more loving than in the flesh, she thought, in the flesh,
he is always criticizing me
unembodied his love is far more tangible
am I mad?
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"I don't think it matters what we do: I have been a good person
for the longest time now and I cannot seem to make my life into the fairy
tale I am dreaming of."
"But Disney did us such a disservice, don't you think? Robbing us
of the darkness of those tales."
"Ah, yes, and no. Those tales emerged from eons of time in which
we suffered and created our corruptions. Those original fairy tales represent
our psychological history. Disney, in a true American spirit of hope,
demagogy and greed, recreated us to believe that we could hope for a happy
ending in which our hopes, our dreams of ultimate power and complete unending
wealth would descent upon us and leave us happily ever after."
"I don't think we can credit Disney with happily ever after. To
me that is something between the mother and child. That's Mary and the
infant Jesus. That is the essence of courage, this belief in happily ever
after."
"No, it is the great weakness in us that makes us susceptible to
Hitler's perfect race ideology and all the other demagogues and cheating
lovers who promise us unending bliss."
"It is just too wretched to live believing only in the wretchedness
of existence."
"I agree totally darling, that's why I avoid domesticity of all
kinds."
"Sorry but I don't see the connection. Are you saying that domesticity
is wretchedness?"
"Oh, yes: Total and complete bondage to the mundane."
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