An Intrinsic Exquisite

damn

and so I have progressed
from a populated loneliness
to an utter despair of emptiness

damn you love

my unhappiness weighs upon me till I can't breathe
I'm choking

you said.. and... and...
those were the beautiful things you said
the ones that made me feel that we would believing in love forever.

and then you said... and... and... and ...
those were the words that made me feel that the world had swallowed me into the fire that is my heart

and then there were the silences
the things you wouldn't
or couldn't
say

the way we stood in the moments and you were somehow absent
waiting for me to play all the parts
and you would pantomime yours to correspond
and how duped and stupid I feel that I loved you in each of those moments

loved you more than myself I think
certainly I took your side
didn't run off screaming, "You are leaving me empty and alone."
just stood there and took it like a woman