seesaw
protect myself
keep my soul inside
intact
but poisoned and afraid
I am trying to learn to risk again
trying to find someone to love with again
but it's hard because I don't want to be loved that seesaw
way
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I hate being accused of infidelity
you accuse me because you know you are bland
boring
dead inside
I would like to find a life somewhere
it's your own betrayal of yourself that you are projecting onto me...
let yourself live and be in life and love with me and you will have no
reason to fear infidelity from yourself or from me
I don't understand male fear
you seem so bold and brash
I don't understand why you hide behind symbols of power, cars and cash
why you expect me to be another proof to yourself of how good you can
be
the thread that's missing here isn't only intimacy
it's also something to do with change and growth and existential terror
we are all so afraid
I want you to steady the world for me
while you expect the same from me
but is that such an impossibility?
because we each know how to do it
here or there
but no one can do it everywhere
so we offer our support in what comes easy and ask for support for what
comes hard
but somehow, over and over, someone makes this superior to that
the seesaw stays with one side high
but the fun is in mixing it up
the fun is in the alteration
the joy in the sliding up and down
knowing that the weights are evenly enough balanced to make the journey
worthwhile
when you stay down and keep me with my feet off the ground
then leave abruptly and I crash down
I hate being loved that way and I can't bring myself to ask you to stay
instead I manage to stay away, avoid the ride. hide
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