An Intrinsic Exquisite

bear baitings

gradually he was seduced by a mangled post modern Wittgenstinian belief that all of language and life can be reduced to a power game. I suppose this distortion can be traced further back, through Spenglerian distortions of Darwin and self congratulatory Machiavellian schema.. perhaps we can credit the Aztecs, Assyrians, Genghis Khan and some of the Aryan tribes with the origin of this vile simplicity...perhaps it's an organice fundament that we are working to evolve beyond

in any case, my father was swept away by the superficially incontrovertible truth of the do-unto-others-before-the- can-do-unto-you philosophies. and women loved it. here, clearly, was a winne, place all your biological bets here. they linked themselves to him and sat back to watch the show. as he vanquished this and that imaginary or real enemy, he never lacked for cheerleaders, lovers and minions

people love to watch those bear baitings and nothing beats a good public hanging. never mind that he was killing himself; that every blow was a blow to his own larger awareness of himself, of what he would have been capable of; of the love that he lacked; of the love in him stunted, grown perverse, hopeless and finally obscured utterly by psychic and physical pain. asort of ugly, crooked giving tree

and when he died, he had no friends, none at all, not one. he killed himself, slashed and burned all his connections, just to make sure we all would hear his final, agonizing, lonely cry of self annihilation - from a distance