An Intrinsic Exquisite

what does this emptiness around me do for me?

it defines me
it encapsulates me
it reflects my spirit, my smells, my latest obsessions, my imperfect threadings of sense making colors...

my life is my art that I weave around me

in order to know myself better
in order to throw off the despair that this loneliness might be death
that this loneliness is meaning
that I am somehow
not deserving
of my life
of any life at all

so the life pours out, through me
to show herself to me - no, look!
live, see, you are here, you are me

this loneliness

might be death