and Gina began
to cry
and continued to cry
soft sheets of tears
bathing her face
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returning, she said, "I believe that people can become buried alive,
buried by their own longings merging with the ambient social mores of
game playing and success mongering."
"Agreed."
"So, what I am saying is that Alistair is somebody, really somebody,
not just the games he plays."
"Hard to say."
"I know. He believes so completely that life is made up of games
of power and survival that he interprets every act, event, gesture in
those terms. When he encounters people who are living outside of that
restricted game set, he panics and gets angry, almost nearly violent."
"Exactly. Precisely. And pray tell don't you see this is why everyone
who loves you cannot understand why you go back and back to him but, worse,
why you love him so?"
I wish he were here, she thought, I wish he could see my cry
but now it makes him angry, makes him guilty maybe and angry at me for
not playing the game
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