An Intrinsic Exquisite

intentionality

occasions regret:

if I meant it

and it goes wrong then it was my fault

I accepted him.

he made the offer
I accepted and it was like a roller coaster ride
a good one
we were happy to be on it together
but we never made it outside

we never made it out of bed

whatever friendships we had before I accepted his offer
were completely annihilated by our affair

I wouldn't take back a minute
even though what I remember is so much despair

in three years there was more ecstasy
than I'd ever experienced before

I can't help wondering if I'll ever experience anything as blessed again

I am scared to start again
scared to believe in myself
of the possibility of anything good

does love lead to good sex
or good sex to lead to love?

I feel flattened
yet hopeful

some little bit of perky dream
pops up
through the obliteration of my hope