i hate long distance relationships

but they solve some problems

like having to get to know you or you me - like that

like it's more fun kinda to fantasize and pretend we are all clean and don't have disgusting personal habits and stuff like that and on the phone we can be so suave and never be pimply or sweaty

passionless passion distance overcomes the necessity to lie in a more direct manner

the distance itself provides the lie

but what's so great about honesty in relationships anyway?

i mean i don't really want to know how you deal with your dirty clothes

i want to be swept away by the force of your desire for me

i want to melt into your arms and forget i ever do laundry or dishes

i want to forget we have parents and siblings and ex-lovers who call at the wrong times

so if you stay there and i stay here and we talk on the phone every night, that'll be just fine with me

i'll acquire some really nice dildos and you can get me all warmed up and then i can make myself good and blind