Who
Who has the right to speak?
Who is allowed to participate?
Who chooses those whos?
These questions are ugly.
The prettier questions look like this:
When will you and I allow ourselves to speak?
When will we allow ourselves to participate wholeheartedly?
Under what conditions will we choose to be ourselves
With all the concomitant responsibilities?
The dark side of nice speaks from a face of sweet politeness plastered over a skeleton of utilitarian decrepitude. "Hello, I am going to politely exploit you and you are going to politely allow me to use your life energies until you feel drained, empty and lost."
The dark side of nice speaks authoritatively from a face of placidity masking a welter of helter-skelter violence, "Hello, you owe me something, because of my position. Because my position is above yours, you will allow me to remind you that you must do what I tell you. You need to do what I want because I'm in charge. I know the way it has to go. And I have the means to punish you if you don't do what I want. What I want isn't just for my own good. It's for your good too. I'm so glad we understand what's good for us. As long as I keep the system functioning the way I want it to, you will be safe, safely under my control."